CHAIRS IN A MAN'S MAN'S MAN'S MAN'S WORLD
Legendary ‘godfather of funk’ James Brown is in trouble again. He has previously done time for unsuccessfully attempting to kill his wife with a car. Now he’s due to stand trial for attacking her with a chair. No details of the chair or the way Brown may have wielded it have been disclosed .Bad news indeed for the Browns but encouraging for numerous chair designers who have long suppressed the urge to flirt with danger. The Brown residence has not featured in Wallpaper or Blueprint nor have and details of the chair and the way Brown may have wielded it have not been disclosed but various possibilities spring to mind.
If the Browns do display designer tendencies in their domestic landscape surely it must be Memphis.
But since the godfather is only size S, albeit with an XXl coif, and is now 70, he just couldn’t’ lift an upholstered Mendini off the floor let alone into a dangerous trajectory. So if we want to re-create what happened at the crime scene we must look for clues embedded in his songs.
Does Brown’s mantra ‘take it to the bridge’ refer to his wife’s nose which he could have attacked with an inflatable armchair? Too easily pictured by Mrs B’s epoxied nail extensions or, if she has them, by nostril studs. Or did his exhortation to; get down get back up again’ inspire him as he tried to smack her upper torso with a lightweight folder – possibly a Perspex seated Plia – the way they do in ‘hard-core’ wrestling a la WWF?
The answer tp this cross-cultural conundrum is, I am now sure, is to be found on the digitally re-mastered version of his biggest-selling single. Clearly you can hear the godfather declaring premeditated intent: ‘I gotta catch it so I can swing it.’ followed by ‘This is a hit.’ The song: ‘Papa’s got a brand new bag.’ Brown’s modus operandi, I submit, ‘sixties deign icon the Bean Bag, swung into through the air space of the Brown’s living room to gather centripetal force and unimpeded by clumsy aerodynamic cs, crash into yje long-suffering Mrs Brown. ‘Ain’t no drag, ‘cos Papa’s got a new Bean Bag.’
